golden gate

(no subject)

being home in LA... is SO. freaking. WEIRD. O_O

twilight zone status...

there's a lot to update on... hopefully this will happen soon (and not 6 months from now as tends to happen with this crapjournal). i left new york for good. i'm currently jobless. i've become much more comfortable with certain personal things. i ate a pony. one of these things is not true.
golden gate


I miraculously received a day off today. I think everyone in the office felt bad for me... All nighters and no weekends really make me look like shit. Today was great though... Spent all day biking from brooklyn up to the northern end of central park, chilin in various parks and cafes. Sitting in front of the hudson river right now, makes me remember how much i need the water to keep me sane. There was this really beautiful track which came on, didn't recognize it.... Looked at my ipod and realized it was "summer's going to hurt you". Strange. I miss old friends. I feel like i don't have any in new york anymore.

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golden gate

(no subject)

you know your avant-garde cinema professor SUCKS when:

1) he pronounces Walter Benjamin as "Walter Ben-H-amin". CLEARLY HE WAS MEXICAN. i was fooled all along.

2) he decides to "treat" us to a 30 min. partial screening of Warhol's "Empire". But instead ends up showing us a 15 second loop OVER AND OVER AGAIN FOR 30 MINUTES, thinking no one will notice. no, it's ok, I'll ignore the large, identical dust particles appearing in the exact same spots over and over again every 15 seconds.

hi livejournal.
golden gate

sleepless rambles

it's funny how -- when i miss LA and get all nostalgic, conjuring images from my memory -- one of the first things I envision isn't the beach, or the mountains, or even my home or my backyard... it's a smoldering hot, sun-drenched concrete parking lot. hahahaha, which probably sounds horrid to the non-angeleno... but thinking about it, parking lots form such a huge part of angeleno identity... without public transportation or pedestrian accommodation, it's the beginning and end of your journey, it's the portal to the next destination, the entrance arch and final curtain. it's a hang out spot, a monumental slab of flat concrete accumulating solar radiation and emotional baggage, witnessing first love, murder, wholesome happenings and illicit activities. but of course, it's a reluctant public space, a reluctant witness -- who warned the parking lot that it would have to endure such a variety of events? certainly not the engineer, bringing the parking lot to life through a maximum amount of modular car spaces on x amount of square footage. it certainly is not designed to human scale -- and somehow that contributes to the magic and epic nature of the parking lot.
the parking lot remains one of the most emotionally-charged images in my mind when I think of my hometown.

(// pardon -- massively sleepless and work-stressed, as you can probably guess. this very moment in time sucks, but in general things are alright, I suppose? just weird, I can't tell whether or not I'm entering a dream phase or starting to wake up from delusions. i'm on the cusp and oscillating maniacally between the two. which is both pleasant and frustrating. Starting to looking at myself objectively from the outside is a little frightening;

to allow Levin, or to fight for Vronsky?)
golden gate

(no subject)

long time no update --

i'm generally very confused about things -

but in the most delightful and exciting kind of way -


ps -- oh, forgot to mention... i got into that class i was stressing out about two posts (/months?) ago, with the portfolio application and all that jazz. it's pretty interesting, but less exciting that i was hoping. just wanted to share a little good news for once, haha...
golden gate

(no subject)

i am so grateful -- to be young - to live - to live and to be young - to sing and to dance at 5am covered in sweat and beer and cigarette smoke - to take part in all this madness and streams of love.

"Dans la vie, l'essentiel est de porter sur tout des jugements à priori.
Il apparaît, en effet, que les masses ont tort, et les individus toujours raison.
Il faut se garder d'en déduire des règles de conduite: elles ne doivent pas avoir besoin d'être formulées pour qu'on les suive.

Il y a seulement deux choses: c'est l'amour, de toutes les façons, avec des jolies filles, et la musique de La Nouvelle Orléans ou de Duke Ellington.
Le reste devrait disparaître, car le reste est laid, et les quelques pages de démonstration qui suivent tirent toute leur force du fait que l'histoire est entièrement vraie, puisque je l'ai imaginée d'un bout à l'autre"
(boris vian)
golden gate

(no subject)

just got back to la-la-land, will be in town for a brief moment -- savoring my last droplets of summer before heading back to the enn-why sea this saturday. jetlagged as all hell -- my circadian rhythm is totally flipped. japan was lovely, though i gained a shitload of weight there. i've been exercising like a madman here to fix that.

fuck, i'm kind of sad i barely got to chill out in LA this summer... i think i've hung out with a grand total of two LA friends this entire break. the little time i've been back has been so nice. stupid california and your stupid beautiful weather! making me want to stay forever and ever and ever.

that said, i am super duper excited to go back to new york. of course. though my first couple of days there will already be fucking stresssssful... i got an e-mail a couple of weeks ago, when i was in japan -- a really wonderful e-mail from the head of the undergrad architecture department at columbia. oh wait did i say wonderful, i meant absolutely HEART-ATTACK-inducing. this course i really really REALLY want and need to take, which previously didn't require an application, suddenly became 10 times cooler (work on a real site, the professors are amazing interesting architects) -- and thus 10 times more selective -- and now I need to put together a portfolio application due sep. 4th, including work from every studio i've taken. non-architecture-majors probably won't understand how much work this is, but just to give an idea -- seniors usually take up a full semester and then some to finish their portfolios. in the world of architecture where graphic representation is a calculated, theory-laden science, every line having a significance, compilation is a project in itself.

granted, i don't have to present a senior thesis portfolio... but still, i have fucking TWO DAYS, since the majority of my interesting work is in new york. to make matters even more lovely, they're only accepting 10 people -- and i can easily name 15 students who not only want to take the course, but would DEFINITELY get in before me. i'm not saying that to be humble or fish for compliments, i just objectively know that others have stronger work than i do.

LOL fuck i started out writing this entry feeling all positive-sunny-LA-nicholas, but ended on a rather stressful and bitter new york-y note. time to bike to venice beach and enjoy this super-sunny day!